Mark Hulbert at MarketWatch noted that in 2023, a slew of analysts from top Wall Street sell-side desks shared their predictions for the S&P 500 Index (SPX) in 2024.
These ranged from “We are forecasting the S&P 500 to end 2024 at 4,257” to “fair-value target range of 4,850 to 4,950” and even “our year-end target for the S&P 500 is 4,940.”
Spoiler alert—they were all comically wrong! As of December 11, the SPX is sitting at 6,090—shambles.
Naturally, I figured I’d join the fray and toss in my own nuttiest predictions for the stock market next year. And when I’m hilariously off the mark, feel free to pull up this article and have a good laugh at my expense.
SPX price target: 6,969
There’s no deep logic behind this number—it’s just funny in a crude way, and honestly, I need the S&P 500 to keep climbing because it’s one of my main holdings. If the index could cooperate and hit this target, I’d really appreciate it. Let’s call it a mix of wishful thinking and self-interest.
Enbridge hits $70 and Canadian investors can finally afford to eat
Enbridge (TSX:ENB) is one of those quintessential Canadian stocks that investors can’t get enough of. Why? It’s a blue-chip company, it pays a generous 6.1% dividend yield as of Dec. 11, and, let’s face it, seeing “Enbridge” on your gas bill sparks a little “I want a piece of that back” sentiment.
Year to date as of Dec. 11, the stock has delivered a 24% price return, not even counting reinvested dividends. Clearly, there’s some momentum here—likely driven by anticipation of falling interest rates, which benefit a company like Enbridge with its whopping $95.58 billion in debt.
So, here’s my prediction: by the end of 2025, Enbridge will keep its winning streak alive and hit $70 per share. With another jumbo 0.50% rate cut on Dec. 11 and Canada’s economy still limping along, it feels like investors could use a rare bright spot—and Enbridge might just deliver it.
Tesla doubles to $800 and Bill Gates gets margin called
I checked Tesla (NASDAQ:TSLA) today, and to my surprise, it’s sitting at $416 a share! What on Earth? Did Elon Musk promise another batch of vaporware, or is this just the power of Tesla bulls manifesting miracles?
Honestly, kudos to the Tesla faithful. And you know what? I hope it doubles again—not because I own any shares, but because watching Bill Gates squirm would be priceless. He’s already taken a $1.5 billion hit on his Tesla short. If the stock rockets up another 200%, his position could trigger a margin call.
Oh, and let’s not forget the icing on the cake: Cathie Wood and her ARKK funds would suddenly be relevant again. It’s chaos, but I’m here for it.
